"am I in a grumpy mood because my anhedonic summer depression is getting better thus allowing me to feel some things, or am I just in a grumpy mood: the story of my day"
I just found out that an ex-uncle-by-marriage recently died of, probably, alcohol poisoning?
…I was intending on having a couple drinks tonight (which I do like once a week) and I don’t see a reason not to, but now I superstitiously feel like I have to do so while being grateful we weren’t actual blood relatives
xkit guy ♣ tumblr/tumblr users is the best ashen ship, pass it on
70s kid kinda gets this. They called us “slackers” because it was easier than admitting they were exploiting us.
It’s just way worse now.
Yeah. One of the interesting things about being married to people who are older than me is that between the three of us we kind of have a coherent narrative about what happened, because we each remember job seeking at various points. It’s the proverbial boiled frog thing, and that’s depressing.
One of the things I am watching with some interest is the appearance of editorials by parents who, in trying to help their kids find jobs, are actually noticing things like the ridiculous levels of competition for not especially desirable “starter” jobs these days. The situation could use some good old-fashioned public outrage.
Gender of the day:
"What do you call a person with sideburns, boobs and leg hair, wearing a Star Wars t-shirt and a loose black cotton skirt?"
"I don’t know, what do you call them?"
This is one of the most frustrating things about having the type of ADHD/depression/introversion brain problems I have. My brain eyes are so much bigger than my brain stomach. Even when I deliberately try to limit myself, I usually wind up falling short. But I love you all anyway.
friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good
Ferguson Man Forms an Inspiring Team with Cop Watchers to Hold Police Accountable [Video: http://bit.ly/1l8QoAA]
More indepth info about this project:
I know gofundme has fucked shit up, but it seems like this project is about 700 away from its second goal of clip on cameras for residents
Other notes, wrt that last post (which I would like it if people reblogged from me, it worries me that the original has nearly 2k notes, although I haven’t yet checked to see if there is some other debunked version going around): I tend to hear glowing reviews of the “ancient fish king” binders from people with relatively small chests (C and below), like me; I also doubt that style of binder would be any good above a D cup. It helps to know what Asian clothing sizing is and isn’t prepared for. There is some stuff that went around a while back to the effect of “T-kingdom binders are dangerous!” a while back and now I’m wondering if it’s a similar problem, since I’d heard of them as well regarded for a long time before that, but if your build and chest size are too far off the Asian template I think it’s important to remember that before ordering from a company that produces products for an Asian local market that they then sell internationally. One thing the original post had going for it was an emphasis on seeking information before buying. Fabric composition is a useful piece of information, but more useful than that is reviews from other people with the same body type. The OP assumed more elastic = better. This is probably more true for larger chested people than for the rest of us.
Also, some useful troubleshooting: if you are wearing the strapless model and you cannot take a full breath (and it’s not just an incompatibility between body type and binder type, as mentioned above) try hiking it up higher and breathing diaphragmatically. I also always wear undershirts with mine, both because it helps them stay hiked up longer and because I’m kinda sweaty and like not having to wash them after one wearing.
If you’ve been looking to bind, whether you’re transgender, non-binary, or a cosplayer, you’ve probably come across binders like these on Ebay, Amazon, or AliExpress. Usually they’re called E.V.A, SHO, Whatwears, or Ancient Fish King brands, all of which are apparently, interchangeable with each other. Ross is here to tell you that these chest binders are not much of a step up from ace bandages, which in case you hadn’t known already, are the worst thing you can do to bind your chest. So here’s the run down, from least bad to worst.
First off, the sellers are usually misinformed about why someone would use a chest binder is needed just from how they title them. Why would Lesbians want a chest binder (outside of cosplay?)? I don’t know, but most of these listings have lesbian in the name, suggesting that chest binders are for girls, not men or nonbinary. This right there should be a warning sign of a company that doesn’t know what they are doing.
The strapless binders’ model is wearing the wrong size for their chest. Their breast is popping out over the top of the binder, and I can personally say that with that binder, it is very, very, painful if you have a larger chest. After about 20 minutes, bruising and chaffing will occur, esspecially to those with larger chests or are heavier. In the worst case scenario, the breast will rip or pop as if it were cut with a knife.
Look at the materials used. These chest binders do not have any or enough stretchy material in them. Elastic or spandex is the best. On the ones that do have spandex, they don’t mention how much there is in the binder. This is an enormous, bright, flashing sign that the binder is NOT safe. Just how bad is it? Ace bandages likely have more elastic than these binders do, and the ace bandages can still kill you if they don’t maim you. A binder is supposed to stretch, be easily manipulated, and you must be able to take a full breath in them. I’ve bought and used two different types binders from Ebay not knowing any better, and I could barely take a breath at all. I did get larger and larger sizes, and with the same result. Putting it simply, their binders could be falling off of you because they are too big and still would not be safe.
Now I can’t show you in a picture about the next part, but what’s probably the worst about these binders is that their ‘binding’ material goes all the way around the binder. Your binder should NOT have this unless it is made to correct back posture. Sports bras can, but that is better for again, correcitng back posture. So not only will you be binding your chest, but you’ll be binding your ribs, back, and shoulders as well. This can warp them and damage the tissue.
So what does a good binder look like? I’m going to use the binder I’ve had the best experiance with as an example. The Ultimate Chest Binder Tank by underworks. I’ve bought two of these as I’ve needed them, I wore out my old one after a year and a half of use daily including at work.
So, straight off from the site, we know this seller is knowlageable about their target audiance. Chest binders are under the men’s section and you never see the word lesbian on any of them. The only thing marked for women under the chest binder section is a sports bra, put there because transgender men often use them for working out.
The infomation section on the binder isn’t just two or three lines, it’s a whole paragraph. What is this binder made of? Medical grade 70% nylon and 30% spandex knit. It says it right there and is readily available information, you don’t have to dig through the seller’s ads for cheap wholesale jewlery in the description to find it. The listing also tells us how much of each material is used, information you must have when buying a chest binder. My personal rule of thumb? If it’s under 20% spandex or elastic, it’s trash. Our listing also tells us how to put the binder on, rather than making you struggle to figure it out on your own. Size chart and customer reviews are readily availible on the listing and not buried under ads for other unrelated merchandise.
Also from looking at the binder’s pictures, the front and back of the binder is made differently; the front is thicker and non transparent while the back can bee seen through a bit and is thin in comparison. This is because the front of the binder is made to compress and bind the chest and the back of the binder is not. All the binding is in the front, support in the back.
Please, know the difference between an unsafe binder and a safe one. Save your money and avoid ones found on ebay. Can’t afford a binder still? There are programs for people who cannot buy one on their own or it is unsafe for them to buy one. One such I know of is the In a Bind program, they have fantastic service if a bit slow delivery time. Remember, this program is only for transgender men and nonbinary, cosplayers will have to go elsewhere or outright buy a binder.
Uhhh so I am thirty with a hypermobility disorder that prevents me from wearing even a sports bra without pain and aftereffects, and the strapless binders from this manufacturer work for me just fine. Which is an incredible blessing. I have an Underworks and several of these. The Underworks isn’t painful when it’s on, but pulls my shoulder out of joint when I’m putting it on or removing it. These I can wear without pain.
Ace bandages have more elastic than a normal binder - that and their ability to move around/bunch up are *why they can hurt you*. Look up compression bandages and find out how they work.
Basically: more elastic = more compression. This is safe for some people. This is not safe for everyone. This post is based on the idea that more elastic is better or safer, but that is not the case. If it was, ace bandages would be safe!
Also the “lesbian” keywords are the result of a cultural misunderstanding. When you order one of these, you are ordering direct from a manufacturer in another country. This may be surprising to the modern American trans guy, but FTM and butch lesbian used to be conflated in queer culture over here, and still are in a lot of other countries. Sex and gender categories are complicated and not the same everywhere!
I am not saying that no one ever got hurt wearing one of these binders. You can probably get hurt with any binder, bra, corset or restrictive garment if you’re not careful and don’t listen to your body and choose one that fits your body type, give yourself breathing breaks, etc. What I AM saying is that my doctor (whom I see for chronic pain and orthopedic concerns) glanced over mine and gave it the green light, and I get less pain from it than from other binders I’ve worn. And also please don’t add complaints about the people who sell a thing being culturally different from you to a safety warning post.
I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.
Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”
P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”
Q:imagine a live action homestuck movie where dualscar is played by nicolas cage